white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
