You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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