nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
