U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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