Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
