So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The best revenge is premature balding
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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