It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
