She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
