so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
