that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
