You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize