I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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