That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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