Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
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He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
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I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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