I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
The air taste purple.
Randomize
