Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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