she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
