Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
