Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
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Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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