The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
