Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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