She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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