Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
