i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
