You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
