I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
