Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize