Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
