so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
