I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
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