Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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