Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
