Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
