Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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