will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
