Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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