I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
