I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
