His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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