porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize