I want to stick my p in your. b.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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