What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
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