Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
my poor anus
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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