I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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