i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
