I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
ugly people sure do ruin things
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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