I cockslap morals
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
