I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
