I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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