I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
