nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
