the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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