I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We are two peas in an std pod
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Blood and glitter go together right?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
