He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
