Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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