he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
