Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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