I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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