he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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