are you still at the devil's house?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
