Its about making memories worth repressing
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
